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Mom! I want juice! Dad, I’m hungry! Where are my favorite socks? Who touched my toys? Hey, he just hit me! No, you started it…
Has your day ever begun this way? Then, you are not alone. We parents endure a myriad of stress, juggling career and family, and balancing the moods of our loved ones like a circus plate spinner. It is no wonder that we need a little solace from our day-to-day lives every now and then. Enter the comfort zone with the following suggestions to care for the caretaker:
15-Minute Treats
· Take a relaxing bubble bath with a scented bath oil bead. It’s 15 cents and 15 minutes out of your life that can leave you refreshed for hours afterwards.
· Take a power walk outside while wearing your headphones. Blot out the world around you and enjoy the fresh air.
· Write in your journal or read a magazine. Reading and writing can be very relaxing and cathartic activities.
· Browse the aisles of your favorite store. Craft stores always give me an uplifting feeling. Maybe your favorite store is an automotive shop. Go for it!
· Flip through your vacation photo album and mentally plan your next trip.
One-Hour Treats
· Get a professional massage.
· Take a yoga class.
· Take a leisurely stroll in the park and feed the ducks.
· Get a facial.
· Eat an entire meal without getting up once to get the ketchup (you may need to go to a restaurant for this one).
One-Day Treats
· Go to a museum.
· Plan a day by yourself in your favorite city.
· Take a hike with an old friend.
· Enroll in one day workshop on a new topic (cooking, oil painting, furniture refurbishing, etc.)
· Attend a free lecture or conference on a topic of interest.
Taking care of our own needs is an integral part of an empowered life. Ultimately, nurturing the nurturer makes not only you, but your whole family thrive.
Christine Louise Hohlbaum, American author of Diary of a Mother: Parenting Stories and Other Stuff, has been published in hundreds of publications. She has appeared on several national and international radio programs to discuss living an empowered life as a parent. When she isn’t writing or speaking, Christine prefers to frolic in the Bavarian countryside near Munich where she lives with her husband and two children . Visit her Web site: www.diaryofamother.com.
Top 10 Deadly Thoughts of Be-Frazzled, Frustrated, Exhausted Mothers
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Written by: Linda Lovejoy
Web Site: Lovejoy Coaching
Date Submitted: 05/17/2003 |
Being a mother has been touted the “hardest job in the world”, and for good reason. The pay stinks (low or non-existent), the hours are long (your are always on call), and there is very little “Thanks” for a job well done. Sometimes the self-imposed SHOULDs or “Deadly Thoughts” held by mothers can make their already difficult job nearly impossible. This year Mom, give your self a Mother’s Day treat by lightening up on yourself. Enjoy!
DEADLY THOUGHT #1: I have to be a “perfect” mother.
REMEDY #1: Recognize there is no such thing as a “perfect” mother. Give yourself permission to be human and make mistakes. Even well educated professionals with advanced degrees such as doctor’s and lawyers refer to their work as “practicing medicine” or “practicing law”. Give yourself permission to be a “practicing mother”.
DEADLY THOUGHT #2: I have to put everybody else’s needs before my own.
REMEDY #2: Your needs are just as important as the rest of the members of the family. Allow yourself a little treat as least once a week. Treat yourself to a pedicure. Set aside 20 minutes for a bubble bath and place a “DO NOT DISTURB” sign on the bathroom door.
DEADLY THOUGHT #3: I have to do all of the work.
REMEDY #3: Do not be afraid to enlist the help of other family members, including your children, to tackle the household chores. You are actually doing your children a favor by allowing them an opportunity to learn life skills that will enable them to feel competent and self-assured as an adult.
DEADLY THOUGHT #4: I am an inferior Mom, if I cannot afford to buy my child the latest design jeans or the newest toy on the market.
REMEDY #4: Live within your budget. Credit card debt can be a significant stressor. By living within your means, you will be teaching your child by example, how to be financially responsible. You won’t need to take on that second job to pay off the credit card and you’ll be much more pleasant and happy mother.
DEADLY THOUGHT #5: My house needs to be spotless and ready for company at all times.
REMEDY #5: Get over the fact that your house will probably never be on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens. What is more important? Having quality time to spend with your kids or being on the cover of some silly old magazine.
DEADLY THOUGHT #6: I need to say, “YES” to any outside request regarding my child.
REMEDY #6: Learn to say “NO” to the barrage of requests that come your way. It’s OK to say “NO” to such requests as baking cookies for your child’s homeroom, carpooling the kids to softball practice, or being a Girl Scout Leader. Only say “YES” only to those activities that you would consider fun or relaxing that fit into your schedule.
DEADLY THOUGHT #7: I have to look like I came off the cover of Glamour magazine.
REMEDY #7: Recognize that you have given birth and that you may no longer have the slim, trim tummy that you had before getting pregnant. It’s OK to pull your hair back in a ponytail or wear a hat, if you’re having a “bad hair” day.
DEADLY THOUGHT #8: I have to be the type of mother portrayed on TV, magazines, and those mushy books dedicated to “dear ole Mom”.
REMEDY #8: You’ve already heard, “only in the movies” before. Don't compare yourself to the TV Moms. They are a figment of someone’s imagination.
DEADLY THOUGHT #9: I have to cook homemade meals, birthday cakes, etc.
REMEDY #9: Be thankful for Sara Lee, the local bakery, and the deli counter in the grocery store along with all of the options for fast food. Cut corners wherever you can, so that you have more time to spend with your kids.
DEADLY THOUGHT #10: Everybody must think I’m a good mother.
REMEDY #10: Let’s face it. Everybody is a critic. Don't let those critical comments made by your in-laws, neighbors, and other busybodies, erode your confidence in your ability as a mother. Remember you are a “practicing mother”. Some days you’ll do better than others. Be kind to yourself and accept your humanity and shortcomings. You are much more likely to the type of mother your want to be, if you lighten up on yourself. DON'T BE YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC!
May you always experience love and joy,
Linda Lovejoy, MA, LMHC
Life and Relationship Coach
http://consciousdating.org/coach/LindaLovejoy.htm
mail to: lindalovejoy@yahoo.com
Enjoy a FREE newsletter and discussion group aimed at helping singles be successful in dating and creating a loving relationship. Check out
Lovejoy News for Singles at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lovejoynews4singles/
For a complimentary 45-minute coaching session, call (727) 394-2198 to schedule an appointment.
Here is a series of simple, quick, and affordable indulgences to
help you slow down and enjoy this season of beauty and transition.
* Welcome spring. Whether or not the temperatures are beginning to
warm in your part of the world, take a walk, paying particular
attention to the little signs that a new season is on its way.
* Stop by your local cosmetics counter for a sample of a
fresh floral perfume.
* Browse the library or online bookstores for a "beach book,"
an absorbing story you can enjoy without a whole lot of thought.
* Buy a racy new bra.
* Light a scented candle in the room where you spend most of your time.
Whenever you need a mini-break, allow the aroma
to carry you to a more relaxing and peaceful place.
* Ask your best friends, "What is your all-time favorite movie?"
Take their suggestions to the video rental store and plan a
movie and popcorn night with the family.
* Are there people in your life who rob you of energy or make
you feel bad about yourself? Many of us cling to relationships
that we have outgrown or that are just no longer good for us.
Give yourself permission to focus on those relationships that
truly support and nourish you.
* For 15 minutes, go back to bed. It's the ultimate indulgence
during a hectic week. Burrow under the covers and enjoy the
comfort of your sheets and blankets.
* Keep a running list of quotes from your kids that crack you up.
(Keep it in the kitchen so it's always available to add to--and to look
back on.)
* Send flowers to someone. A colleague, a neighbor, your mother-in-law...
or yourself.
* Create your own coffee bar. Purchase beans from your favorite
coffee house. Splurge on a few syrups and whipped cream, if you
like. Invite over a few friends.
* Pick up a glamorous pair of sunglasses. Put them on when you
need a little lift. Just for a moment, pretend to be someone
you're not.
* Buy something small that makes you feel cherished: fresh
blackberries, homemade oatmeal soap, a silk eye pillow.
* Make a soothing foot scrub. Combine equal parts Epsom salts,
baking soda, table salt, and water. Don't forget a few drops of
your favorite essential oil. Rub into your feet, sloughing away
the rough spots and preparing for this season's sexy, strappy
sandals.
* Create a running gratitude list for the area of your life
that is the bumpiest. Whether it's your kids, your spouse, or
your career, make a point to add to the list daily and so keep
mindful of your blessings.
* Enjoy the spring air by hopping on your bicycle and taking a
ride all by yourself.
* This time of year, many of us feel stuck in a routine. When
faced with a choice today, make a deliberate attempt to choose
something different. Whether you eat something new for lunch or
exercise on the bike instead of the Stairmaster, a habit of
trying new things will help remind you that life presents a lot of
options.
* Remind yourself that spring is on its way with aromatherapy.
Choose a scented candle, essential oil or aromatherapy inhaler
in an energizing spring scent: lemon, basil, bergamot, sweet
orange, peppermint, eucalyptus, tangerine, or any floral blend.
* Think of your own small indulgences, and continue to enjoy
one each day.
About the author:
Susie Cortright is the editor of two "just for you" websites:
BestSelfHelp.com, which saves you time and money by cataloging
only the best personal growth tools, and Momscape.com, devoted
to helping busy parents find balance. Today, Momscape visitors
receive Susie's "6 Days to Less Stress" course free:
http://www.momscape.com. And BestSelfHelp visitors receive a free
self-help classic: http://www.bestselfhelp.com
A single good night's sleep can rejuvenate your mind,
body, and soul. Here's how to get one tonight:
IN PREPARATION
- A regular exercise routine will help you fall asleep
faster and wake up feeling more refreshed, but experts
don't recommend vigorous exercise fewer than three hours
before bedtime. Instead, schedule your workout five to six
hours before lights out. (Exercise causes
your core body temperature to rise, and natural
sleepiness will set in when your body temperature drops
again).
- Find another place for stressful activities. Pay your
bills at the kitchen table, not in your bedroom.
- Avoid nicotine and alcohol before bed. Nicotine is a
potent stimulant, and the metabolism of alcohol has an
alerting effect.
- Skip the afternoon latte, too. The stimulating effect
of caffeine can remain for as long as 12 hours. Keep in
mind that many teas and sodas, such as Mountain Dew,
contain high caffeine levels, as well.
- Restrict your water intake just before bed and during
the night. Midnight trips to the bathroom can cut into
your sleep, particularly if you have a hard time dozing
off again. Six hours of continuous sleep often result in
a more rested feeling than eight hours of on-again,
off-again snoozing because non-consecutive sleep interrupts
its deep, restorative phases.
- Check to see if any of your prescription or over-the-counter
medications may be interfering with your sleep. Some
diet pills, birth control pills, anti-depressants, and blood
pressure medications can have a rousing effect. Sleeping
pills, while tempting, are not the answer. They quickly
lose their effectiveness and can be addictive.
AT NIGHT
- Create a nest. Eliminate clutter, maintain a comfortable
sleeping temperature, and keep the room dark. Nightlights
and bright moonlight can interfere with quality sleep.
Install window treatments that block light, such as wooden
Venetian blinds or shades with blackout lining.
- Practice aromatherapy. Lavender oil or a lavender sachet
on your bedside table may help you feel sleepy and more
relaxed.
- Maintain a consistent bedtime routine. Try eating a
high-carbohydrate snack 30 to 45 minutes before bed. Then
engage only in relaxing activities.
- Stock your bedside table with easy reads that are both
empowering and relaxing.
- Keep a notebook and a pen near your bed, as well, to jot
down any late night worries. The act of recording your
anxieties will help clear them from your head so you can
relax into slumber.
- Make a ritual of giving your subconscious a problem to
solve during the hours you spend sleeping. You'll be surprised
how often you'll wake up with the solution after a good
night's sleep.
STILL CAN'T FALL ASLEEP?
-Just do it. Orgasms increase endorphins, which can help you
feel into a deep sleep.
-If your mate is causing you to lose sleep, get help.
Consult a doctor about a chronic snoring problem. Invest
in a good mattress so you won't move every time your spouse
does.
-If you haven't fallen asleep within 30 minutes, there's a
problem. Staring at the ceiling will only increase your
anxiety. Get out of bed. Do something relaxing, such as
deep breathing or meditative exercises. Then try again later.
Copyright 2004 Susie Michelle Cortright
Susie Michelle Cortright is the author of the Soul Snacks
booklet series-- a href="http://www.momscape.com/soulsnacks"http://www.momscape.com/soulsnacks/a --
and founder of the award-winning website Momscape.com, featuring
exclusive resources to help women balance their busy-ness.
Visit a href="http://www.momscape.com"http://www.momscape.com/a today and get her
"6 Days to Less Stress" course free.
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Personally Yours: Adding Your Signature Of Beauty To The World Around You
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Written by: Lee Wise
Web Site: Sea Energy
Date Submitted: 08/18/2003 |
Personally Yours
Adding Your Signature Of Beauty To The World Around You
© Lee Wise 2003 All rights reserved
VISITING BEAUFORT...
If you are fortunate enough to visit a small town in
Beaufort, North Carolina, you will soon discover its
uniqueness.
Beaufort is a waterfront town, and is one of those places
you could term as "charming." It is rich -- both in its
history and the natural beauty of a seaside atmosphere.
I would term it "nice."
Nice in the relaxing sense.
Nice like savoring the flavor of a fresh, delicious tuna
sandwich with your special someone while allowing the
calming presence of a beachfront view remind you one more
time of what it means to "take time to live."
PERSONALLY YOURS BY THE SEA
You could pass it by and not see it.
The sign is not huge by any standard. A few words painted
on a wooden marker: "Personally Yours By The Sea."
The size of the sign might easily be an indicator of the
size of the gift shop it is advertising. In a word: small.
An area less than the measurements of an average living
room houses the contents of "Personally Yours By The Sea,
Ltd." Should you discover this somewhat hidden treasure,
upon entry you would no doubt receive a warm Southern
greeting from Laura Lee.
Personally Yours By The Sea is a place of transformation.
You give Laura Lee a blank picture frame, for instance,
and she will transform the frame into a personalized gift.
By combining a thought or two of your own with Laura Lee's
handiwork, the frame becomes a uniquely designed souvenir
or present created for the sole purpose of causing someone to
experience a moment of joy each time it is viewed.
THE POINT
What was a blank picture frame becomes a *personal
expression* of beauty for you or someone special to you.
It just takes...
Some time.
A personal thought or two.
And a dash of creativity.
You might say that we each own a store -- not too unlike
the one in Beaufort. We are the sole proprietors of our
own "Personally Yours" establishments.
As storeowners, we have the power to use our resources in
whatever ways we choose. We, like Laura Lee, may add our
unique "signatures" to the lives of those we influence.
Day by day we can design and distribute moments of delight,
encouragement and hope to people.
IT ALL ADDS UP
Laura Lee has been personalizing her gifts for about
fourteen years.
Fourteen years!
Allow your mind to wander for a few brief seconds. How many
individualized expressions of happiness have been crafted
over the years from Laura Lee's tiny shop in Beaufort, North
Carolina?
And...
In how many different places around the United States -- or
even the world -- do you think these unique gifts can be
found? (I can name at least two states that I know of
for sure!)
Fourteen years.
And no doubt multiplied hundreds of customers.
That's a lot of smiles for a lot of people :)
It also reveals the value of...
COMPOUND INFLUENCE
We know the value of compound interest. Consistent
investments -- even of relatively small amounts of money --
made over a long period of time can add up.
Consider the "compound influence" we can have in the lives
of people.
Our influence can "travel" -- just like the personalized
gifts purchased from a small waterfront town in North
Carolina have traveled to the homes, places of employment,
and vacation hideaways of many people in a variety of
different locations.
WHAT'S THE SECRET?
Consistency -- That's the secret of compound influence.
Some time
+
A personal thought or two
+
A dash of creativity
*Repeated again and over time*
=
"Compound Influence"
I know this is not a new concept. It is not unique and
certainly doesn't qualify as brilliant.
But the determination to take small, consistent steps of
action in order to delight the hearts of others according to
the unique motivations and gifts we have been given is both
*needed* and *valuable* in our world.
And with that in mind, maybe each of us should ask...
"HOW'S THE STORE?"
Do I have too much unused inventory?
Am I allowing my gifts, talents and abilities to lie
somewhat dormant in the back room of my heart?
Or...
Is my inventory being consistently used to brighten the
lives of people?
Am I utilizing the tremendous value of compound influence
by consistently adding my personal "signature of joy" to
the people in my world?
Yours for a day filled with beautiful moments in time,
Lee
P.S. Why not spend a moment or two and take an inventory--
an inventory of your strengths, gifts or abilities?
You don't have to list all of them -- just a few.
Once the list has been made, ask yourself this question:
"How can I use one or more of these gifts I have been given
to create a moment of joy for someone I care about?"
Just a thought :)
-------------------------------
Lee is a seminary administrator, has a part-time business
at home, and writes two motivational ezines: "A Beautiful
Moment In Time" and "Hope For Daily Living." Permission
is given to distribute article. This paragraph must be
included. Email: Lee@seariches.net
Link: http://www.seariches.net
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Start paying close attention to what you say - you may be alarmed
by how often you say things like *I can't* or *that won't work.*
Without realizing it, you are limiting yourself and closing your
mind to the possibilities that might be available.
The mind is capable of producing wonderfully amazing results.
However, all too often, we place limits on the power of the mind
because of the words we use and the commands we feed into it.
You see, although the mind is capable of great results, it will
function according to the type of input it receives, or how it is
programmed. So, when we say, *I can't* the mind will treat that
input as a command of sorts and the *I can't* attitude becomes
reality. It works the same for other negative words or phrases.
Instead of slamming the door shut on a world of possibilities,
give yourself a chance by using different phrases and letting
your mind go to work for you.
For example, when you stop saying *I can't* and start using the
phrase *how can I?* you are giving your mind a task to perform.
The mind will go to work attempting to answer that question and
provide you with possible solutions.
Here are some generic examples of asking your mind for solutions:
Old *I can't do that.*
New *How can I do that?*
Old *I can't become _____.*
New *How can I become _____?*
Old *I can't afford to do/go/have _____.*
New *How can I afford to do/go/have _____?*
Okay, here are some specific examples:
Old *I can't make ten sales in one week.*
New *How can I make ten sales (or more) in one week?*
Old *I can't afford to get a better car.*
New *How can I afford to get a better car?*
Old *I will never be successful with a home business.*
New *How can I be successful with a home business?*
It really helps to ask the questions with a positive attitude and
truly believe that possible solutions will be provided.
Any possible solution that your mind provides you with could be a
simple idea that slowly takes shape, it may strike you like a
bolt of the blue, or it could wake you out of a sound sleep, in
which case you should jot it down at once. The solution may even
be something you have seen or thought about before, but now you
are seeing it with a new perspective.
It is exciting when you realize that the unlimited creative power
of your mind has been hard at work coming up with solutions to
the questions you ask of it.
The solution(s) may come within a matter of moments or it could
be days before one appears. The important thing is to recognize
it as a possible solution and decide if it is a good answer to
the question of *how can I?*
Once you have the answer, take action!
I hope this short article has given you a few things to think
about. The main point is to be positive and use phrases that
don't place limits on what is possible. Ask your mind to provide
you with solutions. Expect good things and they will come!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gordon Bellows is a home business advisor. Success Tips, a handy
how-to guide, is FREE! Loaded with tips that get great results!
See what works, what to avoid. Discover the keys to success for
your home business or MLM. Go to http://www.TipsForHomeBiz.com
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